ibu ku tersayang, yang telah kembali ke Rahmatullah. Al Fatihah.
its me, adik. mom, i miss you. seeing the picture that i've uploaded above really wanna make me cry. tu baju mama ah, selalu mama pakai anu gardening atu. :'b heheh. rindu mama eh. *cries.
okay, i must not let mama see me cry. sorry, mom. i just can't help it.
sometimes, i tell myself when my mama balik dari vacation. so that i can see her again, cause i'm missing her so much. forgive me for my wrong doings towards you, mom. if i ever made you angry or buat mama paning memikir pasal aku, i'm truly sorry. i didn't mean to. *sigh.
mom, come visit me okay? your daughter really need you at this time. i miss how you used to ask me to get the remote control for the tv, and you said i love you deeq. aww. i miss it. somehow i want you to come back to us and live life as we normally do. but then, i think again, how possible the things i've asked might be. but ibu, hear this. if i could turn back time, i would take good care of you, yknow. sometimes, i blame myself. i don't know why. i just want you back. no one really knows how hurt this is inside cause i never let it show.
bye ibu, sayang mama.
with love, sincerely,
your daughter.
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
@ 7:41 pm
dear mom, sorry for the delay of posting anything in this blog. really am sorry. its not that i've forgotten about it cause i won't. EVER! because you're my life. mom, lala had been very good. selalunya eya kusut berabis kan bangun pagi? guess what? now inda berapa. heheh. she's a good girl.
yesterday, i wanted to blog but then i got so down. i've been thinking about how great it would be having you around these days. i really miss you, yknow? aku mau my mama. school was okay for us ma. i do miss kb and my old school though. selalunya, pagi mama antar kesekulah. then we talked in the car. heheh. miss that moment so much. seriously!
hows you, mother? are you proud and smiling over us? you're safe there kan, ma? you don't have to go through pain lagi. you're healthy there. don't worry, we'll meet some other time, mother. kemarin kemarin, we went to the airport antar usu. yknow that he'll be going back to london kan? :) all the best, usu.
tadi we didn't go to school, cuti ah. teachers day. supposed to be on the 23rd, but then prosponed to 28th. i got no idea why. heheh.
mom, inda lama lagi your birthday ah. thats what makes me sad so much. just thinking about you won't be here for your awesome birthday. :'( happy advanced birthday, ibu. i love you so much. don't worry, i'll give you present everyday kan? :)
Allah, being apart from my mother feels like I've lost a part of me. :') let her know how much I love her and will always do till the beat of this heart stops. she will always be my guardian angel and she will always be the best of all. mom, i gotta go now. heheh. kan prepare for school tomorrow. tomorrow i'll blog lagi k, mom? :) I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, MOM!
al fatihah, untuk Ibuku yang tersayang. sayang mama. :')
with love sincerely,
your daughter.
Tuesday, 21 September 2010
@ 7:13 pm
dear mommy,
mom, its me adek, its been a while mama nada. sedih ku. seriously, i can't stop thinking of you, how you used to smile! i miss the days with you. *cries inside. i didn't show anyone when i'm crying and such. i just want it to be between me and my mama.
tadi dad bawa visit mama, but lala tidur. so, i was thinking if i did follow dad tadi, lala menangis. so, i accompanied her till dad gets back, its time for me to take a nap for a while. i dreamt of you. wearing your brown jubah and mama tengok tv ah in my dream. sedihku liat. but you're smiling towards me. i don't know who else were in my dream but i just can see you and me.
mom, can you please come and meet me in my dream tonight? even if its just for a while, i would love to see you. cause right now, i'm missing you so much. selalunya ada denganku ni, ani mama nada. its different. i was hoping that you would be here, but i started to think back that its already fate.
can you hear me, mom? every words that i said? =( sometimes i just can't hold back the tears within me. i want to cry so bad.
I thank Allah for having such beautiful families. thanks for supporting us and always gave us strength to move on with life.
atu bah ma, i want you here with us. :'((((((((
alfatihah buat Ibuku, SITI HASLINA BINTI HJ HIDUP.
withlove, sincerely,
your daughter.
Monday, 20 September 2010
@ 6:05 pm
i'm back, mommmy!
lets continue, so mom. today i went to the clinic with babu cause i got appointment with the doctors about my blood. ALHAMDULILLAH everything went alright. i'm okay. don't worry, i'll take good care of myself and the others, mama.
lastnight i dreamt those days. yknow, the day i loose you. :'( that unforgettable days, most horrible days for me. i didn't expect that coming. sigh. but it's fate, i gotta learn to live life.
AL FATIHAH BUAT IBUKU TERCINTA. SEMOGA ROHNYA DICUCURI RAHMAT. :")
with love, sincerely,
your daughter.
@ 5:43 pm
mommmmmm!
i miss you somuch! :( yknow, i smelled your scent time we visited you yesterday evening. i smelled your 'Sarah Jessica Parker's perfume. seriously. you were there right, ma? but it happened just for a while. mau lawat mama lagi. *cries inside.
so mom, today school had just reopened. macam biasa, bangun awal. heheh. lala had been very good. tadi she went to school. :D she wanna make you proud ma. my school time was just okay. pe period was sooo exhausting. hahah. have to ran 4 laps. how are you doing there, mom? i know you're safe cause you're in good hand of Allah.
on the 18th, which is on Saturday. kami hantar ngah nida to the airport. cubatah mama ada ah time atu, siuk tu eh. congratulations to Ngah nida. and goodluck in everything you do and take good care of yourself there. lots of love from me. heheh. i know mama is proud of you, don't worry. she's above, watching our every moves.
alright maaaaa. gotta go now. gonna give lala a bath. won't be long. wait, i'll be back. LOVE YOU MOTHER. SO MUCH!
with love, sincerely,
your daughter.
Friday, 17 September 2010
@ 7:57 pm
mamaaaaaaa i! :)
maa, hello! i miss you. *wave. heheh. i've had my hairdone sudah. how i wish you're here to see it. tadi kami ada lawat mama kan? i know i can't see you but somehow you can see and hear us. ada mama dangar apa aku cakap tadi? :p we're doing just fine here and still adjusting the fact that you're not around. sigh. :( but life goes on, for you and for others. dad had been very supportive and the others, our grandparents, angah, babu, mit, usu, allllll!
two more days, and school reopens. plus, yknow what mam? ainin had been reading her books all day long. heheh! now she's revising. still. mama, where are you? inda datang tengok me? :( come ah, i wanna talk to you even if its for a while. come visit me in my dreamland. kay mom? don't worry, i've been doakan mama all day.
yeah, how i wish you can see all your babyfruits here. syasya is getting bigger. heheh. and the others, they're just soo adorable. tadi kami berjemaah and read yassin for you apa. i bet you can hear us. heheh. alright, ibu. until now ah? i'll update some more later. i love you so much, mother. no words can describe how much i miss you! AL FATIHAH untuk ibuku yang disayangi. :)
with love, sincerely,
your daughter.
Wednesday, 15 September 2010
@ 10:11 pm
mamaaaa. :)
adek ni. yes, sorry i didn't managed to update this blog for the past few days. been in Lumut maa. and sooo sorry that we haven't visit you yet. esuk yes? we'll be going there early in the morning ah. so mama, here goes.
we decorated our new home in Lumut, just for you. I just wish you were there to see it. kami sampaikan hajat mama saja kan beraya sana, ramai orang compliment the home maa. :) i know you're smiling up there. heheh. and yeah, your garden. :( i haven't finished it all. very hectic day ah there. I miss you so much, mama. I really do. theres ups and downs we have to face, but we ended up being alright cause we knew, as long as we're in this together and remembered we got you near us, we'll be just fine. not to forget, big applause to dad, eventhough sometimes its been a rough day for us, he just knew how to make it better. thanks dad, we love you. Babu ada kesana, raya keberapa tu ah. can't recall. sunyi rumah sana without mama. but what to do, we got to accept the fact that my mom is a generous person that Allah loves her more and she's in Good Hand of Allah.
mom, do visit us kay? yknow, everynight I said my prayers for you. don't go anywhere too far from us okay mama? i'll talk to you soon, mom. :D don't worry, we'll be coming to visit you esok. heheh. we love you mama! will always do.
alright, mom. until here dulu okay? :) its about ten, and we just reached bandar. a bit sleepy. you be safe there okay? heheh.
I LOVE YOU, MOM. SO MUCH.
with love, sincerely
your daughter.
Sunday, 12 September 2010
@ 6:15 pm
sigh sigh sigh. I was planning to come visit mama tadi tarus pick up kaka tadi. dad bawa. sekalinya, hujan tia. but nevermind, esok ah maaa? :) don't worry! i'll visit you. sorry that I haven't been able kekubur last month. but I really want to. tomorrow we're gonna have a sleepover in kb. not sure yet for how many days. i'll fix your garden for sure.
with love,
your daughter.
@ 12:51 pm
mommy's garden.
just a photo I took by mom's phone. :)
mom, we've just finished makan makan just now. and we're tired. :b it would be more fun if you're around, seriously. i miss your smile that had always been walking through my dreams. I always imagined of you being away on a long holiday vacation and will be back soon, yes i know. I sounded ridiculous. its just that wanting to see you is the reason I'm living life now. :) I miss you, mom. really do! Al Fatihah untuk Ibuku Tersayang.
with love sincerely,
your daughter.
@ 10:17 am
mama's garden. see mom, lawaaa. kalau ada mama ni, gardening ni patang patang. :P
we were supposed to be moving month back.
wish you could be here.
so mom, Its the third day of Raya. and today we stayed home, ada makan makan for ngahs and usu before they leaves for further study out from Brunei, am I right? boring raya kami ma, its different than always. we got no plan kemana kan pigi apa. we're losing direction. 49 days without you, yes i make sure everysecond count, cause losing you is like losing every bits of our happiness.. yesterday, kami ke Lumut. big sis did not came with us cause today kaka ada exams. too bad, but we didn't stay there long.
also days back, we went to visit you dikubur. I talked something to you right ma? i bet you can hear everysingle words we've said. it's already fate, theres nothing else we can do. we do love you, but Allah loves you more.
mom, I'm gonna curl my hair soon just like what we've both planned before puasa ah. :) but too bad you wont be here to watch me and my new hair. :b they got their new haircut, but me saja not yet. heheh. i'm sure you'll know how i look tu, you're above, watching our steps. everytime. I miss you, ma. seriously do. i said my prayers to you everynight, every time whenever you crossed my mind. always, mother. heheh. you be safe there, ma. we love you. come visit us, okay? :)
love you sincerely,
your daughter.
Monday, 6 September 2010
@ 6:50 pm
3 or 4 more days before Raya, yet you always crossed my mind.
Saturday, 4 September 2010
another video made just for you @ 10:26 pm
@ 7:47 pm
mama at our new house, in Lumut.
So, here I am, all by myself, thinking of you - no one else. There's a feeling inside and as hard as I try, it just won't go away
thinking how fun it would be to have you around during Hari Raya.
♥
@ 3:34 pm
Before I sleep and after I wake up and all the hours in between ... you occupy my mind. So, practically every moment of the day you are in my thoughts. I miss you.
@ 2:46 pm
made this for you :) im not sure what's wrong with the video -.-
Ya Allah Ya Tuhan kami mohon pada Mu keampunan untuk Allahyarhamah ibu kami yang telah kembali ke sisi Mu. Kami mohon agar diampunkan segala dosa-dosanya. Cucurilah rohnya dengan Rahmat Mu. Bebaskan ia dari azab kubur dan neraka Mu.Mohon diluaskan dan diterangi kuburnya dengan cahaya. Jadikanlah setiap perjalanannya cahaya dan tempatkanlah ia di kalangan orang-orang yang bertaqwa. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin
Friday, 3 September 2010
THANK YOU SO MUCH @ 12:11 pm
Thank you to those friends and families who came lastnight for tahlil we had for mama. even though she's no longer with us, we still can feel that she's around.
♥
Ya Allah, give me strength to get through all these. all I can do now is said my prayers to you. Al - fatihah. Semoga roh ibuku ditempatkan dikalangan orang orang yang beriman, sayangilah ia sebagaimana ia menyayangiku selama hidupnya.
Ramadhan nearly over and how we wish you could be here with us. Dear mom,how we miss that smile so much
@ 12:02 pm
because it's true
@ 11:55 am
Mother, you had so many things to do,
From washing and ironing to tying a shoe
You scrubbed, mended, cooked and sewed
You kept us shod and you kept us clothed
You were the doctor when we were ill
Giving us a bandage, a hug or a pill?
You were the teacher when we had schoolwork to do
You gave us love and patience,
Mother you had so many things to do
It's no wonder that I so love you
In life you've really passed the Test
Coming out on top, the best of the best
Ya Allah, Ya Tuhanku. Ampuni lah segala dosa dosa Ibu ku, berkatilah ia dengan cahaya mu, sayangi lah ia sebagaimana ia menyayangi ku semasa aku masih kecil hinggalah sekarang. Cucurilah rahmat Mu kepadanya, Ya Allah. Semoga ibuku ditempatkan ditempat orang orang yang beriman.
amin amin amin ♥
@ 11:43 am
I lost a great, wonderful mom, a perfect wife to my papa, bestest friend, a teacher, and a very special person to me. I love you, mom. And will always do. Everything reminds me of you here and all I can do now is said my prayers for you. I missed things the way it should be. I miss your hugs, your laughter, your everything. I am not strong enough, we all knew that but I will try my best to keep you proud up there. I cried every seconds, I hug your clothes to sleep, I look at your picture all time, I imagined of you being here with me. I just cant face this world alone, mama. I cant stand seeing you lying down at hospital. I cant afford seeing you wont be able to move though your heart is the only organ thats beating, and its beating for us. Its hard to just let go this feelings, but I know, you wouldn't want to see me cry.
